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orange eulala smilies:
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grrr: got a new bus driver. came from the world of the fast and the furious. awesome... i'm going braless for days. Freedom!
white bikini: will we ever gt to our destination? now stopping in tarlac to check brakes. we are 4 b*tches craving to strip and dip in the water. NOW!
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Bubblegum Blue: Pasta with corned beef awaits this pretty gofer! Mmmm...
quaking in my skechers: Goddess bless me for i have Incompletes
white sauce w/ garlic toast: 'cooking tym. open all the doors and let u out into the world...'
Grey Goes With Pink: hmm..eto pa. VIRGO: it's been 6 months, 8 days, 12 hours since you went away...
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Friday, April 15th 2005

10:00 PM

Ayan. Kasi. Te Man.

etong si Universe, ang galing galing.  marunong.  tsk tsk.

dahil nagiging control freak ako sa tuwing nag e emote sakin ang beloved pamangkin tungkol sa kanyang jowa

dahil gustong gusto ko na umuwi sa bacolod upang makausap ng harap harapan ang pamankin (i need to give advice to her in person so she wont misunderstand me; i need to be there to guide her...)

dahil gustong gusto kong awayin ang kanyang jowa sa tuwing tini-take for granted sha (you have no right to treat my niece that way!  who do u think you are!!!  she deserves somebody better than you!)  

etong si Universe, ibinalik sa surface ng earth ang isa sa aking mga ex-jowa.  "Ayan sha, tingnan mo. Ano pakiramdam mo?  Ano gagawin mo ngayon? okay ka lang?"  

okay na kami ng isang ex.  eto namang isa ngayon.  hindi ko maipagkakaila na affected ako. mashadong vague ang affected kasi d ko alam kung paano i-describe.  Basta nanghina talaga ako nung masilayan ko sha kanina. (i get so weak in the knees, i can hardly speak, i lose all control and something takes over me....ay lecheng SWV)matagal ko na shang d nakita.  last year pa.  Super conscious ako, lalo na at nasa likod ko sha, alam nya lahat ng moves ko, sha d ko makita.  Tago ako ng tago, pero mahirap pag sa ganoong venue. ang dami lang anggulo.  kuha naman ng kuha ng picture nya ang kaibigan ko.  "Sabihin mo nga sa ex-jowa mo, mag pa rebond sha."  Hihihi.  Kakatawa din yung reaction ng isang kaibigan.  "nakakatakot pala itsura nya...hindi mukhang ultrasensitive and idealistic."  Yung isa mas polite "I cant imagine you two together, mashado shang astig, ikaw naman, sweet."  Hehehe.  Basta affected ako.  Na-miss ko yung mga masasayang araw.  At nasiyahan nung nangumusta sha.  How are you?  Galit ka ba sa akin?  Sabi ko I don't know.

Kung kaya't ako ngayo'y mejo nag aalala para sa aking sarili.  Kahit na china-charm nya ako ngayon, wag sana akong makalimot sa mga bagay na ayaw ko sa kanya, sa mga bagay na ayaw ko sa amin. (kung si janet jackson pa, And I never want to return, never fall again...) Sabi ng isang gf, mashado daw akong "maganda" para sa kanya.  Naman!  Hehehe. Take a deep breath, don't panic, meditate, reflect, review, re-examine.  I can do this.  Yes. Yun lang.  Kaya ko 'to. 

 

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